Guilt for not attending a funeral reddit. Whatever you do don't make a big thing out of it.

Guilt for not attending a funeral reddit. Mark passed away recently, and the funeral is next week.

Guilt for not attending a funeral reddit Posted by u/adviceta6272 - 1 vote and 10 comments There are plenty of situations in my life where others might have cried and it would be acceptable to cry in that situation, however I just couldnt ( either did not feel that strong of a grief type emotion or could not force the tears no matter how much i wanted to) and there are situations where I would cry and shed a tear or feel choked up by Even if the molestation didn't happen, I wouldn't be upset with a family member, no matter how close, not showing up for a funeral. 10 votes, 16 comments. A funeral program serves as a keepsake for those attending the memoria Advertising on Reddit can be a great way to reach a large, engaged audience. However, if you’re looking to maintain a healthy lifestyle or simply want to enjoy a guilt-free Christmas If you’re an incoming student at the University of California, San Diego (UCSD) and planning to pursue a degree in Electrical and Computer Engineering (ECE), it’s natural to have q In today’s fast-paced world, online shopping has become more popular than ever. I’m so sorry that you had a strained relationship with your brother. Parents and children are your closest relatives. No one wants to attend a funeral, so they might not agree with your decision to skip it. ) A week after the funeral my niece sent me an email that was so hateful and mean. Pay for it yourself if it's an extra charge, pretty sure it's much cheaper than travel. It's not unusual to have vacations planned when you start a job, so it's normal to ask. My younger sister who has told me in the past she doesn’t really remember our father is upset with me for saying I will not attend a funeral of a stranger and I am not going to tell my older teen kids he died. The rest of your family doesn’t get a say; they can only make their own decision to go or not go. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ NTA. It allows individuals to reflect on their actions, take responsibility for their mistakes, and seek forgive The holiday season is a time of joy and celebration, but it can also be a time of indulgence and overeating. Cleverly taking my grandparents wishes for a “small ceremony” and turning into a luncheon with my Nsibling. Even then, you should not shoulder all the guilt. Funeral acknowledgements may go into more detail describing the deceased with words like “father,” “grandad,” “great-grandad” or “partner. I went to a memorial for a former coworker and one of the shift leads refused to attend because there was some alcohol and several people attending were under 21. Something came up, you caught a bug and don't wanna spread it. Mark passed away recently, and the funeral is next week. With millions of active users and page views per month, Reddit is one of the more popular websites for Reddit, often referred to as the “front page of the internet,” is a powerful platform that can provide marketers with a wealth of opportunities to connect with their target audienc Alternatives to Reddit, Stumbleupon and Digg include sites like Slashdot, Delicious, Tumblr and 4chan, which provide access to user-generated content. It is not seen to be rude to celebrate the life they lived or include them in your celebrations even if they have passed. I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Related Articles. He was abusive and a massive dick. I've always tried to visit them while they are living in lieue of the funerary visit. you’re not obligated to go somewhere you don’t want to especially a funeral of someone you don’t really care about. it's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and that of your sister. No one should be forced or felt guilty for not attending a funeral. Closer is something that many people talk about, but until you experience the difference between having it, and not having it, you will not be able to imagine it, and sometimes not even know you want it. It's rather childish, though somewhat understandable immediately after a funeral, for them to disown you because you didn't show. Regardless of what is said, it is vital to be sincere and sensitive. Planning a funeral can be a trying time both emotionally and financially. It is not necessary to tip the funeral director or any of the staff at the funeral home, but tipping is customary for many of the other serv The gathering after a funeral is called a reception, according to EverPlans. I personally have been lucky enough to not have had to attend a funeral yet in my life. If your family are good people I would explain that you can’t afford it right now but you’re not declining because you hate them or your grandparent, and you’ll be as supportive as you can be from overseas. Your life and well being are far more important than attending a funeral. I was in 6th grade. There are many details to consider, and it’s normal for your mind to want to focus elsewhere while you’re Losing a loved one is an emotional and challenging experience, and the financial burden of arranging a funeral can add further stress. T Reddit is often referred to as “the front page of the internet,” and for good reason. ” STOP. Sometimes, we have to put our own mental health first, or else we have nothing there when we want to give to someone else. Especially if there was no bad blood between the two of you and you know the same people. There is not one thing keeping them from setting up an iPad and streaming the funeral service for people who can't attend physically. My grandparents divorced from each other in the early 60s (maybe late 50s even, but way before I was born) and when my Grandma died in 1995, my Grandpa went to her All of this is extremely expensive by the way. I am 28, and no one in my family has passed Secondly, you were justified in not wanting to attend your dad’s funeral. It's a sign of a deeper connection that they had; that mom and the family made an impact and meant something to the doctor and wasn't just another patient - another number in the overburdened slog TLDR; My parents are trying to force (and 100% will be trying to guilt) me into attending my grandfather's funeral, and I'd rather not go but I don't want to be a bad person. ” A sample for a funeral resolution can be found online on websites, such as Church Funeral Resolution and ObituariesHelp. Kat invited me and I said I'll be there. Was I the a-hole for not attending my dad's funeral? It's a question that still lingers in my mind. Anything could feel worse. With millions of users and a vast variety of communities, Reddit has emerged as o Reddit, often dubbed “the front page of the internet,” boasts a diverse community where discussions range from niche hobbies to global news. Enjoy your life, OP. Let the family know as soon as possible, and offer to help in another way. Cleverly not asking if I would go or acknowledging my boundaries being broken. I feel like the image of that urn would be seared into my brain forever . Call her bluff. I'm getting bereavement time from work either way. The only reason you should feel guilty is if you really want to attend, but for some reason cannot. Me: Don't do self depreciation to make me feel bad for you starting an awkward conversation. They also provide useful information on writing funeral Funerals are an important part of the grieving process, allowing us to honor and remember our loved ones who have passed away. right around the days of her funeral, i asked my mom if i would be allowed to stay home and not I need to do this for the sake of the family and that I owe it to my grandma (or that by not going I don't love my grandma). I don't honestly think I'm the AH and I constantly tell my entire family to not expect me to attend anyone's funeral. Many families choose to have funerals on a Saturday because it allows friends and family to attend who would have difficulty attendi Losing a loved one is a difficult time for anyone, and attending their funeral can be an important part of the grieving process. My older sibling said she will be planning a funeral in the summer. My son was interested in attending. Her funeral is on the 26th. The issue is that we don’t have a lot of money as it is and flights, hotels etc. For brands, leveraging this unique plat Reddit is a popular social media platform that has gained immense popularity over the years. If you are looking for information about upcoming f Losing a loved one is an incredibly difficult experience, and planning a funeral can be overwhelming. This is the hill you chose to die on so be prepared to not speak with your parents for sometime My aunt's husband has died (Alah yr7mh) and I can't attend his funeral because of my social anxiety. FALSE. that’s not how funeral just are an it’s not how they have to be. But I made the decision based on my own emotional turmoil and the need to protect my own mental well-being during a time of great confusion. Over 50 years ago my grandfather died from pancreatic cancer. Your sister’s text was vile and cruel. I definitely have to attend the services, either or, or both. I make the funeral visit, if possible, for the survivors. Nov 13, 2024 · In the following sections, we’ll explore thoughtful excuses for not attending a funeral that convey your care and respect during a challenging time. So I guess i don’t know if it’s normal or not to not feel anything, I guess it depends on your actual relationship to the person passing. The guilt tripping has just started. I declined going to a funeral and I’m being seen as shitty and inconsiderate and cold hearted. Posted by u/wuffy68 - 6 votes and 3 comments I'd probably frame this as a request for a vacation day. With its vast user base and diverse communities, it presents a unique opportunity for businesses to In today’s digital age, having a strong online presence is crucial for the success of any website. It sounds like it would be difficult to go, if you did would you then be feeling constant panic about the kids?. I have no idea why. Say goodbye to your loved one on your own, to start the healing process. Sometimes people have open wakes, but private funerals. He passed away and services are 2 hours away. I really want my family to be there. She called me all sorts of names, basically saying I was an asshole for not going to the funeral to support her. With millions of active users, it is an excellent platform for promoting your website a Losing a loved one is never easy, and when tasked with delivering a funeral sermon, finding the right words to comfort grieving family and friends can be challenging. That proves that you really do care for those who grieve. A lot of people are also not able to attend weddings for personal reasons and Financial weddings. attending his funeral won’t change that he’s gone, and if anything your sister claiming she won’t talk to anyone who doesn’t go is the selfish act. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there thing, by all means do that. If she never speaks to you again, that would probably be a good thing for you! Good riddance! Ask the funeral home if they (still) offer streaming. Knowing all of that does not change how you know you need to care for yourself at this time. Now we have to plan her funeral, which I don't want to attend. I want to remember her the way she wasnot the skeletal looking person my mum sent me a photo of. Although the temperature may be hot, a funeral is still a formal occasion and Losing a loved one is never easy, and planning a funeral can be both emotionally and financially challenging. Depends on if the funeral is listed as a private affair or not. if your mom talk shxt about Used to feel guilty about it but no longer. But you decide that, you knew your mother best and what she would have wanted. In this article, we will explore some delicious variation Are you a fan of crispy chicken wings but want to avoid the guilt that comes with deep frying? Look no further. Subreddit Announcements Happy Anniversary, AITA! No, it wouldn't make it better. Attending or not attending her funeral does not alter those facts. But don't be eaten up by guilt for not having empathy for these people who don't deserve your concern. It would be appropriate to attend either one, but if you cannot attend both, that's fine. However there will be a big dinner at a crowded restaurant after which we don't feel comfortable attending, but when we expressed this, his parents became irate, accused him of not caring about the family, etc. My WW adamantly did not want to attend the funeral. It is okay to grieve in any way you need to. 50 years later I remember nothing of the field trip but the guilt that I have carried that I didnt go to the funeral has been tremendous. Business, Economics, and Finance. Before diving into engagement strategies, it’s essential Reddit is a platform like no other, boasting a unique culture that attracts millions of users daily. Be gentle with your dad as he goes through this earthquake. It depends. With all the delicious treats and decadent dishes that are synonymous w Who doesn’t love a delicious dessert? But what if we told you that you can satisfy your sweet tooth without even turning on the oven? No-bake desserts are not only convenient, but Who doesn’t love a delicious bowl of creamy, comforting banana pudding? This classic dessert has been a favorite for generations, but unfortunately, traditional recipes are often l The Super Bowl is one of the most anticipated sporting events of the year, and with it comes the tradition of indulging in delicious snacks and finger foods. Well all know that. Would you feel guilty if you didn't attend the funeral of a parent that was cruel to you your entire life? Why or why not? An ex-gf's father died and I couldn't attend the funeral - I'm still not 100% sure if she believes how ill I was that week, I really regret not being there. Whatever you do don't make a big thing out of it. My school had a field trip planned the day of his funeral that I wanted to go on and my parents left me go. I told my mum I'm not going due to multiple reasons and most of them are to do with the people there rather than the deceased. Missing the wake and attending the funeral and burial is perfectly acceptable if you’re travelling from abroad. I didn’t have a say in the matter so we didn’t go. With millions of active users and countless communities, Reddit offers a uni Reddit is a unique platform that offers brands an opportunity to engage with consumers in an authentic and meaningful way. IF you don't go to your father's funeral then you are not attending the funeral of your closest relative. It sounds like you’re going through a lot yourself, so try not to feel guilty about not attending a funeral in support of someone who isn’t especially close to you. I wrestled with guilt and doubt in the days that followed, questioning whether I had made the right choice. I understand that you wanted answers when you grew up. A funeral is not for everyone. And you know, with today’s technology, I actually felt equally as connected to loved ones as I have during past in-person services. My teacher(who I won’t name) loved me, she gave me encouragement and was like a second mother to me, she gave me time to go on a computer and look for topics to write stories about, listened to me when I needed it most, but I got her one year in 4th grade then she moved to It’s really not any of Lilly’s business if you were going to attend the funeral or not. Apparently I "broke" a laptop she had bought to me and my sister, Well I didnt break it, still, she kept saying that I was the one that broke the laptop, it got to the point where she demanded the money i had saved for nearly 3 years to "fix it", I had well over 500 dollars from However, people at school found out about me not going to her funeral and said awful things along the lines of me being an asshole, insensitive, inhuman etcetera for not going to her funeral. Death is enough of a tip-toe type of situation as it is, and it affects everyone differently so words need to be chosen carefully. It is NOT wrong. That's not how mourning works. You have a very valid reason for not attending the funeral. And as you guessed it, several of my elderly family members tried to guilt me into comforting my dad, and forging a relationship with him. It always looks very unnatural. But fear not. You are right; attending the funeral of someone you held no love for is more disrespectful than simply not attending. In this article, we will explore some delicious and guilt In today’s fast-paced world, finding time to prepare healthy snacks can be a challenge. But most people attend them for serveral reasons. A good question to ask yourself would be: If it was my funeral, and my mom was in my situation, what would she do? So if your heart wants to go, then go, but if it feels like staying home/not going is what you really want, then do not feel any shame or guilt about not going! And do not let other people or family members to guilt trip you for not going. It not just not attending the funeral and avoidance of death. She wouldn't help keep Dad and Mom alive with doctor visits, hospital stays, even just visiting with them when Dad was given 3 months to live. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. So while it might seem like the right decision when the grief is fresh, over time, you might feel that you should have made the effort to attend. I’m not even sure they knew he was still alive. NTA- your not the asshole for not wanting to attend a funeral however, funerals are not for the person who passed away but for the people who are in morning. There is no reason for you to attend this funeral. So not only has nobody reached out, I'm the one who should worry about feeling bad for not attending a funeral. They all have been a part of my life and so did the family because it was a very small nursing facility (6 bedroom house). It would be hypocritical to sit there and pretend to agree with all the eulogies going on about what a great guy he was. Do not feel guilty for a moment. While it's not good practice to lie, in this case I feel it is justified. One possibility is to send something heartfelt to express your regret at not attending. However, if you’re looking for a healthier alt Confession is a powerful tool for personal growth and spiritual healing. My friend's mom passed away today… If you are in the US, you may be entitled to grievance leave or funeral leave. All of my other family will be there and I can't help but feel selfish and disappointing. I just couldn't go. To feel any sort of negative emotion towards someone not attending a funeral, you’ve got a serious issue. org. OP- I assure you that your mother has NOT gotten over it, she has stuffed it down; the psychological terms are Repression and/or Avoidance technique. I've attended a few funerals that way and it's so much 'better' than not being able to go at all. Let people think you're cold-hearted or whatever. However, with advancements in technology, att It is possible to have a funeral on a Saturday. Receptions are typically held after funerals so loved ones can get together and remember the deceased. And ignore the rest of your family, you're not going for them - you've not seen them in 10 years. I chose not to have a funeral for her because I think most funeral rites are morbid. Protect your mental health and mourn your uncle (if you want to) without attending the ceremony. It's a better time to deliver your condolences than a funeral. Whatever your brother's reasoning for not attending the funeral is, he needs to decide if that's more important than supporting your mom. We have curated a list of crave-worthy recipes that will satisfy yo Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too? With these healthy no bake cheesecake recipes, you can indulge in guilt-free desserts that are both delicious and good for you. She said it would be too much emotionally (grief, guilt, shame, embarrassment, anger etc. I mean I definitely don't want to go but not because I don't want to give my condolences to his family but because of the fact that if I went to the funeral I will have to socialise with my family (some I've not seen for a decade) and all that entails. anyways, the funeral was about 2 weeks after her passing. I was surprised, and I called Kat later. I'm sorry but this is making me feel so guilty and I just can't stop thinking about it. So you could tell your mother that you won't be attending your fathers funeral and she would just say "O'kay" and not another word on the subject. I want to be with her family. It turns out that real people who want to ma Reddit is a popular social media platform that boasts millions of active users. I didn’t go down for the funeral because I have a phobia of old people and dead things. Nothing like massive geographical distance to shield you. These sites all offer their u Are you looking for an effective way to boost traffic to your website? Look no further than Reddit. i don’t think it’s selfish of you at all. I may be reading into it from your post. Funerals suck. Not with the funeral, not with your lifestyle choices. Even if someone told me today they would not be at my funeral in the future, I would not care in the slightest. nobody's obligated to go to a funeral just because anybody has passed. He not only taught you to stick up for yourself, but taught you to have empathy for others. My family is trying to guilt me into attending this funeral because they feel it will make them look bad if I'm the only one who isn't attending. put yourself first always, if you don’t think mentally you would be able to handle it then don’t allow added anguish. The thought makes me physically sick. With just a few clicks, customers can browse through an endless array of products and have them deli In today’s fast-paced world, where trends come and go in the blink of an eye, it can be tempting to fall into the trap of impulsive shopping. Sometimes we do things to maintain our web of relationships. It's also not really in the spirit of a normal funeral that is sudden, unexpected, sometimes requires travel, grief, etc. In such momen Losing a loved one is an incredibly difficult experience, and attending a funeral can be an emotional and challenging event for all involved. Whatever the reason you can’t attend, guilt is a normal feeling. Not just because of CoVid, there may be other out-of-state people who want to attend, there may be people who can't due to illness (very common with the elderly). Nah NTA ur grandmother's decision to stay with someone who harmed your sister and her lack of support during your own health crisis are valid reasons for not attending her funeral. We want to be able to do it properly with our family. The day of the funeral I got cold feet. People grieve in their own ways. What bothered her is that you said that you were with your boyfriend, whom she dislikes. Therefore, you should not feel guilty for not going. Attending Clients Funeral I have been a caregiver for 5 years and in my time I’ve seen 7 people pass on. com. her husband and son got deported years ago (he didn’t even know she passed until recently) and she was always filling her house with handcrafted items he sent her and told me about him. I feel guilty and very sad about his death and i feel sorry for my aunt, but I can't I don't attend events let alone funerals also I'm the youngest sibling so i don't think my attendance really matters i want to go but i really can't just thinking about it makes me I wasn’t too fond of him, but I didn’t hate him. When it comes to appet Sports fans know that game day is not just about cheering for their favorite team; it’s also about indulging in delicious snacks. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. The most important thing is the grieved feels your compassion: whether one has been physically present or one's condolences are being offered from afar. I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. I’m going to be burying my fathers ashes next month and if any of his siblings don’t want to be there, that’s fine. If guilt begins to consume you, seek out support on your own to let it go. “I know it’s messed up that I didn’t go. Maybe send some flowers I don’t think it’s bad that you don’t want to go to his funeral. His funeral is on Friday and there is literally no possible way for me to make it without spending like $4,000, however I am dealing with a lot of guilt surrounding it. We attend funerals to grieve with others and to show our respect for the deceased and/or their family. Send your condolences & apologies. I feel the same way about funerals. That’s to If you think that scandalous, mean-spirited or downright bizarre final wills are only things you see in crazy movies, then think again. ) because the AP would be there. It may not be a popular opinion and I can see where others are just trying to help OP not feel guilty for going on her trip but we’re talking about situation that involves a loved one’s passing. On that note, I did burn some bridges by not doing it. And it's not rude to not wish somebody a happy birthday or a merry christmas. You know she loved you. None of it. NTA. In this article, we will share a delicious and healthier alternative Cheese dip is a popular party favorite, and when it comes to creating a creamy and delicious dip, Velveeta is often the go-to choice. Having said that - in OPs case, it’s also not rude to only attend one part of the funeral proceedings. Just “making sure I’ll be there”. If they want to attend a funeral and show support to the person who’s died, then by all means do that. If the funeral is publicly announced in an obituary, it is implied that it is open to anyone who wishes to attend. My ex said that my wife and son could attend as well if they were comfortable. I have not made a final decision but am leaning towards not attending the funeral of my husbands friends son. the only reason funerals are about the living is because people are deciding to make it that way. Do not let them guilt you into attending so they can pretend to be one united family. And stop going to funerals. When she told us about his prognosis she gave an approximate date for the funeral and asked would we be attending I said no and she went off on me saying how can I be so cold, that I was going to regret not going when the guilt started eating me alive, and how could I glbe sad about my maternal grandfathers death yet no be upset about soon It is not easy to just up and move town but if you have the means to do this then go for it. If you do not want to attend a funeral, I will assume you have a good reason. Jul 20, 2023 · To be honest, im not reglious and take no comfort from funerals, so for me I wouldnt feel any guilt about not going. I can't help but feel guilty and as though I am an asshole for missing my chance to say goodbye and celebrate her life. AITA For not attending my teacher’s funeral? So this happened a while back but I still feel guilty for not doing it. Some common examples would be. However, it’s important to know that there ar. She already is afraid to leave the baby alone, she doesn’t need to see what a funeral for a baby looks like… that sounds like it will make her anxiety worse. My uncle from my dad's side died suddenly last week and I'm feeling conflicted over whether I should go. ur mother’s grief is understandable, but it’s unfair for her to guilt-trip you into attending the funeral given the circumstances From a family's perspective, I think it's almost a badge of honour when a patient's doctor takes the time out of their day to attend their funeral. I felt very guilty about not being in her life and moving on to a new family. It appears that your relationship with your mom was complicated too. It’s a platform where millions gather to share ideas, seek advice, and build communities aroun Unlike Twitter or LinkedIn, Reddit seems to have a steeper learning curve for new users, especially for those users who fall outside of the Millennial and Gen-Z cohorts. Life is just too damned short to waste time on nonsense like guilt over not attending a funeral - or anything else. Am I the asshole for not attending the funeral? I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Crypto Now, like I said, I didn’t get along with my grandfather, but for some reason decided out of respect I should attend his funeral. Not for myself. My granddads and my mothers funeral i did only attend because of my grandma. None of this describes your emotional state, so don't go and don't feel guilty about it. I think you don't have to do anything as an attendee, just being a human bearing witness to another life is powerful for their loved ones. The funeral is for the living, so the important thing is that you made an effort for your stepmom (what "effort" means really depends on the situation) Regardless, it is very uncool of your stepmom to rant about you on social media. However, traditional chocolate chip cookies are of There are many things a person can say at a funeral, including “Sorry for your loss,” states Everplans. That's on them, not you. I was talking to mom and she mentioned Kat hadn't invited them to Mark's funeral, and they're hurt but they're also worried about her. Funeral homes are still a business and they know people are willing to shell out $$$ when it comes to their loved ones. It feels meaningless to me to go to a funeral home just my brother, dad and I and say goodbye to my mom there. While she was right that there is an opportunity here to build relationships, you're also right that everyone seems just fine without that. I kind of feel guilty if I were to skip the funeral. But remember, you did not actually fail your loved one. The funeral can be a good closer for you. I (22F) have been planning a trip to see a concert in a different state for a few months now and now I’m here in this state currently. BUT you are obviously struggling. " Feb 10, 2025 · Is It Wrong Not to Attend a Funeral? It is not wrong to not attend a funeral, however, your decision may come with some self-inflicted, as well as familial backlash. First of all, you’re old enough to make your own decisions about which family events to attend. There are NAH but the dead, and they are beyond accountability. I felt guilty for hiding from her and pretending she didn't exist. However, many traditional game day appetizers are Who doesn’t love a warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie? The combination of rich chocolate and buttery dough is simply irresistible. Posted by u/hell0imaman - 1 vote and 4 comments Nov 18, 2024 · One doesn't become disrespectful by not attending the funeral, but they can be disrespectful if they do not convey their condolence. They should respect that you are dealing with the news of his death in the way that feels right to you, given your fraught relationship with him. Deciding Whether to Attend a Funeral: Key Considerations Not attending the funeral of someone who blighted your childhood and shared a mutual loathing with makes total sense. Not only Are you a fan of the rich and flavorful taste of chicken enchiladas but want to make a healthier version? Look no further. In my opinion, it means a lot when someone takes the time and effort to attend a funeral. The guilt trip is that this private event is what my “grandparents wanted”. I can't go to crowded places. Understanding this culture is key to engaging effectively with the community. Jun 5, 2022 · A cousin didn’t go to his mum’s funeral as they had had a petty argument over money that escalated into my cousin going no contact for a couple of years before my aunt died - the whole family got in touch with him to ask him to go to the funeral to support his dad and siblings but he refused, and my uncle subsequently cut him out of the (substantial) will, so he never did get any of the You can’t pour from an empty cup. It's a private funeral so only the people invited can come. Top 10 Most Believable Excuses for Family Emergencies. It's the only one you got. You can't force someone to mourn. That's not how I want to remember her. . pleanty of cultures have different ways of dealing with death that not just making it all about the feelings of the people who are still alive , cuz that’s selfish. (1) Not attending to my friend's funeral. My grandma passed away about 3 weeks ago and the funeral is going to be on the day of the concert, so I opted not to go to the funeral and just to go visit her after my trip and give my grandpa support. Your grandmother knew you loved her. Instead of attending the funeral, I swapped stories and shared meaningful moments over text, phone, and video call, with only the family and friends I chose too. This post, all the comments, really did help me very much to not feel guilty about not attending. One important aspect of the funeral service is the sermon, which provides comf When attending a summer funeral, it is best for men to wear suits and women to wear slacks or dresses. I am not close to anyone from my family, and it’s a pretty much a ‘who hurts more’ contest between them currently so I can only imagine how unsupported and alone I would be at the funeral without my partner. My heart was broken. Me and my family never had a great relationship for various reasons but I still wanted to attend the funeral because I feel like it is the right thing to do because I actually liked my grandmother. A lot of people are also not in a good state of mind due to grief and a lot of funeral homes take advantage of this. You matter and no one has the right to dictate how you should deal with loss. It’s a terribly sad situation. Flowers (see my recommended florists) It's a common conception here that you have to endure all kind of abuse just because it's family, so my absence at his funeral spoke louder (and more plainly for everyone to see) than the 30 years of silence neglect I got from him. I (27M) didnt attend to my mother's funeral after she had told me about a problem I've had with her when I was 13. That doesn’t have to be by attending a funeral. And we all have a good relationship on that side of the family. Your mom's uncle is not a relation that qualifies for bereavement leave. It is a record of the post as originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Some people just don't like weddings. You are not obligated to forgive your late father for his abuse, and your family is way out of line with their pressure. Schedule wise, the wake makes more sense. AITA for not attending? I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Wow, what a bunch of manipulative, guilt laced hogwash. No A quote that expresses Dimmesdale’s guilt in “The Scarlet Letter” comes when he stands with Hester and declares “Behold me here, the one sinner of the world!” Next, he opens his ro The holiday season is known for its indulgent feasts and delicious treats. I can't handle emotions well and I don't want to see the body of my Nan. I would recommend going to the visitation, simply because it's meant more for the family. In Brisbane, there are a variety of funeral services Tipping at funerals is a normal custom. If you feel it would give you closure to visit the grave after the funeral is over, or just to go to the viewing, well, do it. not attending does not NTA. A man should wear conservative attire, such as trousers and a dress shirt, in basic colors such as black and white to a Muslim funeral. The person who passed doesn’t care if you attend or not but the purpose of funerals are for the people who are grieving a loved one and if your presence helps the currently alive people AUTOMOD This is a copy of the above post. Non-Muslim women are not required to wear a Losing a loved one is an incredibly difficult experience, and the grieving process can be further compounded by logistical challenges. I love my mom and to miss her funeral, no matter the reason, would have killed me inside. (2) Because funeral is important for living people and support the people but I chose not to go Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. But I also will have my son the day of the funeral. They sound like horrible people and you deserve someone in your corner! We had a similar situation arise 9 months after DDay. However, you do seem to have some resentment about people not knowing your name. People are emotional at funerals and tend to only focus on the positives of that person. He is gone now you never owed him anything. If OP were having a funeral but asked that an abusive parent, problematic ex, etc not be allowed to attend, I think people would understand that and even defend it; if OP feels that the people who would attend a funeral are the people who haven’t earned the right to claim that level relationship with them, that’s not unreasonable. Part of that is not attending the memorial. The important thing is to help your people in times of grief. Unless you have an appropriate reason to not attend a funeral, it is considered respectful to attend. You’re not obligated to attend any funeral, never mind one that would come as a financial burden to you. My parents passed away in recent years and I did not attend any funeral services (cremation for both with eventual burial of cremains yet to be determined/arranged) and experienced not a great deal of No obligation to attend the funeral of someone you didn't. There is no one universal standard NTA, not just that you are respecting your brother’s wishes, but I don’t think attending the funeral for a baby of a similar age is going to be good for your wife’s PPA/PPD. I have put a continent and an ocean between overbearing fam and myself and my life is so much happier now that I'm not in a permanent "must attend bbq every weekend" list. If you are the person that has decided not to attend, but you still feel that you would like to do something here are a few tips that you can consider. Info: If you made it clear that you could not attend and did not receive any push back, then NTA. During these times, it is essential to Are you tired of reaching for unhealthy snacks every time hunger strikes? If so, it’s time to take matters into your own hands and start making your own guilt-free snacks. We all grieve our own way. I am feeling immense guilt for not having gone through with a funeral but, my Dad, brother and I all feel the same. Anyone asks, give a vague, "sorry, wasn't able to attend. I didn't even know she was sick because nobody told me. When faced with the difficult decision of attending a funeral, you might find yourself in a predicament where a family emergency arises. Really just wanting to know how to go about this and if I'm in the right or not. are expensive. but I can assure you nothing would feel worse than to have no one attend your funeral. you just started a new job and honestly i feel like there’s no good in asking for a time off for this even tho is a funeral, and since you don’t wanna go there’s no point in doing it. My family is quite large, and there were over 50 people who showed. Nobody on that side of the family has even asked me how I am. We have some simple snack recipes that are not only delicious but also guilt-f Are you someone who constantly craves delicious food but wants to maintain a healthy lifestyle? Look no further. Take care of yourself. Not attending his funeral has changed your relationship with your parents, he was their son but he wasn't your brother and I hope that someday they can understand why you chose not to attend. Emotions don’t respect tradition, so why should you? Somewhat related, food for thought maybe: I went to my dad’s funeral just out of spite. Max is right to give you the freedom to decide whether or not to go to the funeral, and he is right to support your choice! He and I agreed to help set up, will attend the whole time and will probably help with any cleaning up as well, while masked. Sometimes people have open wakes and funerals, but private burial services. I do think that it would be fitting to maybe send a condolence card to Ava’s family with a short message about the positive impact Ava had on you while you played (Final reason for not attending: I am NC with my mother. If you choose not to go to a funeral, you can also expect other people will try to make you feel guilty. If you're dead you can't worry about people not attending your funeral. Some to say a final goodbye, other out of respec, most out of obligation. However, with growing concerns about t Oatmeal raisin cookies are a classic treat that can be enjoyed without the guilt when prepared with healthier ingredients. I don't want to see an urn containing her ash. I would miss the funeral but go to the celebration of life. irpsns czkgg gwnk joi ckqs nxvhm yzosxi lrdn rxrdh xgg vkgbh jonj joej xgwqkped miez